BlogWhy Dishonesty in Politics Affects Us On a Personal Level
First shown on Welldoing.org October 24th 2018
In recent weeks we have been hearing blatant denials from Russia and Saudi Arabia about the state sponsored murders they have been accused of committing. The quality of the denials, despite evidence to the contrary, is what is so striking. Individual nations have in times past been responsible for the murder of dissidents on foreign soil, but rarely have we witnessed such blatant disregard for public opinion. In fact, the murder of Sergai Skripal was surely designed for maximum publicity to maximise terror.
When leaders blatantly lie it is a serious abuse. We are born depending on love and family for our survival. We need to be cared for and we need to trust those who are responsible for us and our wellbeing. When this trust is broken, children will suffer. People have often needed the care of their community for their very survival in times of crisis and hardship. When we hunted in groups, we needed to trust the integrity of our fellow hunters. We teach children that lying is wrong and being seen as untrustworthy is bad. We do need to be able to trust each other more than we distrust, if we are to live positive lives.
I think about the damage done to our politics by our Brexit referendum campaign - whether we voted to Remain or Leave - and what will be the long-term consequences for the political life in this country. People worry about demanding another referendum on the Brexit deal because the people who voted Leave will not trust the political process again. That is possible, but we can also consider the loss of trust that has taken place because of the many conscious falsehoods people were fed. Michael Gove, a government minister told us not to trust the ‘experts’ who did not agree with his views. Experts can be wrong of course, but it is a rare expert who deliberately lies.
Loss of trust in expertise will put our very survival at risk. Global warning is now virtually unanimously accepted as a danger to humanity and our way of life. It is a reality and we always deny reality our peril. We have been given only twelve years to make major changes to the way we live and the use of our resources. President Trump now says the climate might be changing but the causes are not necessarily ‘man-made.’ He says that the climate experts have a ‘political’ agenda. Indeed they have. Their agenda is to save the planet. However, in the world of Donald Trump, lying and politics seem to have become one and the same thing and this is very dangerous.
We lie at our peril. We damage our relationships and a sense of trust in the world. Being lied to is one of the most distressing of human experiences. When faced with a partner’s infidelity or a trusted friend’s betrayal, people will say it was the lying that hurt the most. People who lie easily cause immense hurt because our instinctive sense of trust is damaged and we feel foolish at having trusted them in the first place. We need to know what is true and untrue to make considered decisions and good decisions are always based on reality.
People who believed what they were told in the Brexit referendum don’t deserve mockery. They need sympathy because their trust was abused and that is serious. At some point if politics is to recover our respect, then the public figures who lie and distort reality will need either to apologise to us all or be held to account.
Far too often, as a therapist, I witness the pain of being bullied. The damage caused by the feelings of humiliation, helplessness and worthlessness can be huge. It can often take years for a client to admit that they were victims of childhood bullying. They might tell me that it wasn’t too bad but when you go into the reluctantly-revealed details of the distress they have experienced, it can be heartbreaking to hear. However, recently I am not just working with the damage done by historic bullying but increasingly with the damage done by adult bullying both in the real world and via social media.
Last week, on the radio, I was listening to a father talk about his young daughter’s suicide due to online bullying. It must be every parent’s nightmare not to be able to protect their child from the kind of pain that would drive them to suicide. It strikes me that as a society we have become weirdly tolerant of insults and abuse both on- and offline.
In psychotherapy, we understand that humans are complex and it is normal to experience conflicting feelings and urges at different times. We can experience both love and hate for the same person. We have a capacity for kindness and cruelty and when we feel threatened most of us can behave in ways that we would not normally find acceptable. So we can all behave badly but what seems to have shifted is the sense of appropriate shame that would normally be associated with such behaviour.
We know that the consequences of bullying can be damaging so why is it so tolerated or even encouraged? Why aren’t we more revolted by vile tweets or media insults in all forms? As a society, we have become more aware of the damage done by the sexual abuse of children, so the provocative nastiness of Milo Yiannoppoulos only had negative consequences for him when he appeared to make light of childhood sexual abuse. He crossed the line.
Donald Trump’s overt public bullying appalled many but it didn’t stop him from being elected President. I watched Theresa May bizarrely laughing uproariously whilst Jeremy Corbyn was challenging the Chancellor’s budget. Mrs May has always struck me as a cautious woman who probably values good manners. What was she thinking of?
Public mocking and insulting normalises such behaviour. People in the public eye, especially women, are subject to threats and vile abuse when voicing their views. The effect can be devastating. Gina Miller who ‘dared’ to question the legality of the governments approach to Brexit has received death threats. She is insulted in the media for her views. Most of us would shut up under this degree of public bullying. Even the judges who heard her case were attacked by the Daily Mail as ‘The Enemies of the People’. The paper also mentioned the sexual orientation of one of the judges. If High Court judges can be so insulted in the press, it surely green lights similar attacks on anyone who holds different views. It makes public debate which is surely the keystone of a democracy increasingly difficult and fraught.
Norwegian filmmaker, Kyrre Lien, spent three years interviewing internet trolls. He made a documentary called ‘The Internet Warriors’. He found many of the people he met were lonely, unheard and had frequently been victims of bullying themselves. Feeling angry and powerless can make us cruel and social media makes cruelty temptingly possible. Empathy for the ‘other’ pales against the satisfaction of making an impact. Political discourse gets ugly.
There is simply no area where bullying and intimidation is not damaging. The loss of empathy for the other reduces our humanity. It makes it easier to be cruel.
Somehow, we have to learn to disagree respectfully, be it in our personal lives, our work lives and our social media lives. We need to call out bullying where we find it because it damages everyone.
Published March 30th on Welldoing.org
How We Lose Trust in Politics and Politicians
As I was writing my thoughts on the erosion of trust in politics and our national institutions, the New Year Honours list was announced. Sean O’Grady, the journalist, wrote a passionate piece in the Independent. He felt ashamed that given the number of terrible events in the last year, the Prime Minister failed to reward ‘a single fireman or woman, police officer, paramedic, hospital worker, or any civilian’ caught up in the horrifying events of the Manchester bombings, nor the Borough Market attack, nor the Grenfell Tower fire. These were people who actually risked their lives to rescue, support, comfort and treat the victims of these terrible events. He ended with, ‘If you want to understand why Britain has become more bitterly divided of late, you need do no more than have a flick through the honours list. It is, like the blackened hulk of the Grenfell Tower itself, a monument to a sickening hypocrisy.’
It is also, I would argue, politically inept. We are living in times where many people feel let down by the political institutions, believing that those with power will look after their own interests first. But looking after your own interests too ruthlessly can backfire. History is full of examples. The victors of the First World War exacted such a heavy price on the defeated Germany, it wrecked that country’s economy and gave birth to the rise of fascism. The ‘victors’ could only enjoy their ‘spoils’ for 22 years before they were at war again.
If society becomes so polarised between ‘winners and losers’, the ‘haves and have nots’, something very ugly and irrational can emerge as resentment builds. Wilkinson and Pickett in their illuminating book ‘The Spirit Level’ showed that in countries with the least income inequality there is a greater sense of wellbeing across all income levels. Everyone benefits from increasing equality and excessive inequality harms us all. If people feel disadvantaged, their confidence and health, both physical and mental, suffer. Their sense of mattering, or having significance, is damaged and multiple problems can ensue.
These feelings of inadequacy can be exploited by the ruthless. President Lyndon B Johnson put it succinctly and shockingly in 1960 with this example: "If you can convince the lowest white man that he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket." In other words, being provided with someone to look down on makes people more inclined to ignore the true cost of the cause they’re supporting. In lieu of better conditions and wider opportunities for all, you can be offered a false, distorted sense of superiority. This is the phenomena that President Trump has encouraged so effectively. Liberals, the ‘elite’, the mainstream media, Muslims, immigrants are all offered up as targets to be attacked and despised. Boosting a sense of importance at the expense of others rather than through the serious work of offering real opportunities for achievement.
People have a profound need to feel valued and if the culture and society don’t provide an opportunity for this to find expression, then it will find an outlet in another way. Why was Michael Gove, the lover of traditional educational values, so quick to dismiss the opinion of experts over Brexit during the referendum campaign? He was telling voters who felt let down, excluded, that their opinion is as valuable as the ‘experts’ also known as ‘the elite.’ The message is that you don’t need an education to understand difficult, complex economic issues. You know what you believe and that is good enough. Except it isn’t. It is deceptive and dishonest. Schooling does not make you a better person or a decent human being, but you do need knowledge and education to succeed in today’s society. Implying you do not, is an attempt to cover up and divert attention from the weaknesses of an education system that has failed to provide a good enough education for all. The ability to question and think critically is fundamental to a decent, democratic society. If knowledge is power then this power needs to be shared as widely as possible. Aaron Sorkin, who wrote the West Wing, said that what worried him the most was the ease with which people had come to disbelieve what was probably accurate in favour of what was patently false.
People, as I have said previously, need to feel important, need to feel they are significant. I have noticed that my clients who most strongly believe in conspiracy theories, often feel relatively marginalised and powerless. The strong pull of the conspiracy theory is that you are part of the ‘privileged’ few who ‘know’ what really happened. It is a powerful illusion to believe you have the truth about who killed President Kennedy, murdered Princess Diana, or flew planes into the twin towers.
First shown on welldoing.org February, 2018